


Checking In, Checking Out

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24440758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: A delegation of foreign dignitaries? A national security threat? A golden opportunity for cultural enrichment? A platinum opportunity for actual enrichment? Yes, some would say. Whatever this group from Mount Ebott wanted, their first stop was a hotel. Just for a friendly conversation. Or an assessment. Or a confession. Or a deal. Yes, some would say.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Checking In, Checking Out

Like many in its franchise, the Joy Inn was perfectly located just down the road from the airport, offering middling views of almost pristine fields and forests before the looming outline of Mount Ebott. For people not willing to pay more for a flight occurring during waking hours, but who were willing to pay to still sleep for most of the night, it had a steady trade. 'Had' was the correct tense in this case, because for the last two days its reception was dealing exclusively with checkouts. And now came the last one.

"Here you go, sir," said the receptionist, handing a short receipt to a tired man in a Hawaiian shirt. "Enjoy your flight to Alamda!"

"Uh, thanks. C'mon, kids..."

The family of five gathered their luggage, the children protesting that now they wanted to stay and see what was going on, and carefully manoeuvred it out into the car park. Their car was easy to find, given how its dusty blue paint stood out among the fleet of jet black cars now stationed here. The only other vehicle deviating from that livery was a rusty schoolbus which had obviously been commandeered at short notice. Though the Ebott Airport Joy Inn had just seen its last regular customer depart, its services were still needed. For indeed it held the owners of those black cars, and the passengers of the bus. Like any modern hotel, it had conference facilities, though the meeting currently underway might be more accurately called a summit.

Normally the breakfast hall would have been cleared out an hour ago, ready for cleaners to prepare it for the meagre dinner service the hotel offered. Somebody had talked to somebody else though, and for reasons unclear to just about everybody it was decided to have all day breakfast service. One such beneficiary of this decision, who would not look out of place in one of the black cars with his black suit, was availing of this, finishing up a small bowl of cornflakes and a cup of coffee. Apart from a cook refilling a large bowl of scrambled eggs, he was the only person in the room. It didn't last however, as a similarly dressed woman pulled up a chair in front of him and sat down with her own cup.

"You know you could have gone to the staff break room, right?" she said, looking over her sunglasses. "That's where they keep any coffee worth the name."

"Mm," grunted the man, finishing the drink in question. "Easier to think out here."

"I'd ask 'what about', but I figure that's like asking what colour is blue."

"And if I said orange?" She gave a reluctant smirk. "Besides, easier to lay it all out here."

"Lay it out?" She looked to his left. A small stack of papers, mostly handwritten notes, surrounded by a map of the area, bizarre photographs and a few old books. "You know those were to be kept either at HQ or in the conference suite, Paul."

"Funny thing, you recall being briefed which parts of this place are HQ and which aren't? I don't. I mean, a 'presidential suite' might be good if you're not studying for an exam, but the little coffee table they got there? No good, out here's where it's at."

"I don't think you're gonna earn extra credit, Paul. After all, this isn't your call how things go."

Paul shrugged. "I know it isn't. But can't a man learn for his own sake? Besides, my security briefing will be considered in the final decision. They may ignore it, they may do exactly what I say, but I gotta wrap my head around it all regardless. Better than yet another drug bust, Li."

"I wouldn't know about 'better'," said Li, "but it's different at least. And on that note, someone from Professor Johansen's office got back to us."

"Oh?" Paul put down his cup. "He interested in the job?"

It was Li's turn to shrug. "His secretary tells me he's been nonstop the last three days working on something, but he knew we'd be in touch and he'll get back to us in person once he's finished."

"Three days..." Paul consulted a notebook. "That's when the first reports turned up on the news. Figures."

"Well he's the only person in academia who's written anything remotely linked to this in twenty years, Paul. This must be like a gold mine for him."

"I don't think he's rushing in to load up on bullion," mused Paul, "if I know him he's making sure his equipment is in good order. Bringing a canary at least."

"You know him? Ohh..." Sunglasses met sunglasses. "Tenot U was your alma mater, wasn't it? So what, did you minor in history?"

"It was an easy A, everyone said. Fat chance, I worked my butt off for a B Minus."

"A B Minus in Monsters?"

The word halted the conversation briefly. It still felt out of place to be used so casually. But it was already brute-forcing its way into mundane feeling.

"In the effects of the Villa Economy on the Roman Empire after the reforms of Constantine, actually. Teachers at Tenot U doesn't always get to pick what they teach undergrads. But when you need extra credit and come to their office cap in hand, you notice what's on their shelves. That's what they spend their grant money on."

Li took a drink of her coffee. "Do you think he'll help the talks?"

"I think he'll give us context. Never hurts. And he's got time, the talks haven't started yet. We've just been listening to a story so far. No demands or anything."

"Yet."

He ran his finger over the rim of his cup. "Yet. Hey, any word from the team at Ground Zero?"

"Reported back last night. Went up the mountain, but we respected their leader's wishes and didn't go in just yet. Someone came out to talk."

"They talk to a sasquatch or something?"

"Their host looked more-or-less human, weirdly enough. Very flamboyant, delighted to see them. Trying very hard to make them like him. And he succeeded."

"Hmm." Paul flicked through his notebook.

"So what's your thoughts on the story so far?"

"What's yours, Li?"

"Mine?" It was her turn to trace the rim of her cup. "Well I didn't pick up on any deception. But whether that's because they're telling the truth..."

"Or whether we can't read the body language of a six foot fish."

"Well, that's the rub, isn't it? Anyway, it's a hell of a sob story. Almost designed to make us feel sorry for them."

"Not all of it..."

Li leaned over at the page he was prodding with a pencil. Seven names, two with surnames, each branching out into three or four serial numbers with ticks or crosses. A phone number with the label 'COLD CASES' headlined the whole page.

"So does their story tally?" asked Li.

"Yup. Harder for some when they don't have the full name, but missing people cases, around the time the boss claims they fell in. I've been able to find at least one that matches the name and the approximate age for all seven of them."

Li crossed her arms. "Well that'll make these talks open and shut, won't it?"

"You'd think that."

"Killing seven people doesn't make your group look like someone you can reason with, does it?"

"You sound like my senator. Real law and order type. But no, just six. They're adamant the first kid got sick and died. If I were the boss, I'd either say they all got sick or deny it altogether. Splitting hairs like that makes no sense."

"Unless it's true."

"Yes, unless it's true. Still, that leaves six. Interesting to see how they talk their way outta that."

"The fuzzy one, you know, the one without the beard, she looked furious at the boss for talking about it."

"Yeah, and I would be too, showing your hand like that. Not the only time, though..."

"Not the only time what?"

"Well this may be that lack of body language thing, but she had a very similar expression every time she looked at him. Blabbing can't be his only screwup, he's in her dog house for something else."

"Maybe for doing it at all?"

"Maybe. I'm not betting on any solid reason just yet. Nor am I gonna recommend any stance around criminal charges until we hash things out further. Figure out this barrier business. And that's where I hope Johansen gives us a call. Must say, if she looked furious, he looked relieved. Probably for the best they're in separate rooms."

"Thought that was because the largest bed here barely fit him, never mind the two of them. Any reports from the night shift about any conversation?"

Paul grabbed an eyewitness report off the map and glanced at it. A teenager near Mount Ebott who'd spoken with some of them. "Snoring, mostly. Loudest is from those skeletons. Can't wrap my head around that. The King's room is nearly silent unless he has a visitor. Either he doesn't snore or he doesn't sleep. Now..." he flipped his notebook to the next page, an eighth name with a much more linear collection of facts. "How's the material witness?"

"Happy they get to stay here, even if it's with a social worker for the time being."

"Sounds right." His pen traced the notes on Frisk's page. "No birth records, just turned up in an orphanage as a toddler one day and moved through the system. No real issues reported, quiet but friendly with the other kids. Stands their ground in arguments though, real stubborn. Mighty fond of our visitors, aren't they?"

"A kid making friends with monsters is maybe the most believable thing that's happened this week," mused Li. "But so many of them, and over two days? Frisk was definitely seen at their orphanage the day before they fell in, so how does that work? It's like they've spent weeks down there. Or months."

"Search me. Some folk just have the right touch. No red flags, yet?"

"Well Mrs Herring isn't grilling them, that's not how you handle kids."

"Yeah yeah, play games and get them to act out how they really feel."

"Something like that. But even with that Frisk seems none the worse for all this. An unshakable conviction that the monsters aren't dangerous is the most notable thing reported. And when she supervises visits with the others the affection is clearly mutual. It all looks so mundane, if you ignore the horns."

"Did she bring up the other humans?"

"Not yet, but she suspects Frisk already knows. So there's either more to how they died we haven't cleared up yet, or-"

"Or the monsters have hypnovision or something," said Paul.

"It's annoying we can't rule that out." Li exhaled. "I dunno, Paul. They look like ducks who want peace, and they quack like ducks who want peace, but when it comes down to it, our superiors are interviewing ducks! There's no training for this, there couldn't possibly be any! How do you even square that circle?"

"maybe try a triangle?"

The two agents snapped their heads towards the door. A broad fixed grin was the first thing they noticed, attached to a chalk-white face with open sockets that looked empty, yet somehow still had a twinkle of life. Li heard Paul hurriedly scoop up his papers.

"'sup, folks. no need to pick a bone with me." The skeleton walked into the hall.

"Um, s-sir," said Li, "is there a problem?"

"not anymore." he reached over an empty table and grabbed two red conical bottles.

"Mister..." Paul consulted his notebook. "...Sans, I must remind you your, um, delegation was politely asked to remain in your area of the hotel outside meal times."

"true," said Sans, "but your boss was pretty vague about where the line was. hope you weren't planning on HOGGING the bacon."

"If you were peckish, Mister Sans," said Li, "room service could have brought you something. Uh, you do know what room service is, right?"

"yeah. but they'd just bring little packets. pain in the coccyx to open. i prefer bottles."

To prove his point he opened one of the bottles and took a healthy swig. The obvious question of " _HOW?!_ " remained under house arrest in both agents' heads.

"so how's it goin'? do we meet with your approval?"

"We can't answer that," said Li, "and truth be told, it's not our call. Our director and the ambassador has final say."

"yeah, that's what his fluffiness said. an' truth told, i wouldn't trust me either."

"You wouldn't?" said Paul. "Then how would you handle all this?"

"no idea, never thought we'd get this far. 's new ground for me. maybe i'd use my hypnovision."

Sans shrugged. It was the kind of shrug a cheesy standup comedian would give after a joke. Neither of them knew what to make of it.

"Well what makes you think we don't trust you?"

"you two? nothin', we've just met. your boss though..." He pulled a notebook from his pocket. "'setting aside all reservations about physical appearance, and of eccentric personalities, few who have met monster delegation doubt the sincerity of their position. this said, ambassador still deeply troubled about their account of prior human-monster contact. urgent this matter fully explained before decision to enter full negotiations taken. must contact ground zero team and look for possibility of political instability at mount ebott, cannot rule out possibility we are only dealing with minority faction or benefactors of a coup d'etat-'"

"Hey, that's the director's notebook!" Paul got to his feet. "How'd you get that?!" 

"whoops. must've taken a wrong turn. i'll put it back." Before further objections could be made, he left the hall, but came back seconds later. "done."

"How did you... so quick?" 

"i found a shortcut."

"Mister Sans," said Li, now also getting up, "sneaking around like that doesn't help with whether to trust you." 

"true dat. but when we need to raise or fold an' we can't even look at our own hand, it's hard not to peak. tell ya what, i'll make it even. you can look at my notebook."

He pulled out a much shabbier looking book. Vexed, Paul carefully took it off him and flicked through it. Only a single page had anything written on it. 

"'What do you call a skeleton who operates machinery to lift heavy things? A CRANE-ium.'" Li suppressed a snort of laughter. 

"heh heh, proud of that one. tori was in hysterics."

"But - _snrk_ \- it doesn't really help, Sans," said Li. "And even if we personally agreed to trust you, we aren't the director or ambassador, and you aren't your king. It's not our call." 

"hmm. yeah, you got a point there. guess there's no point in tryin' to make friends."

"Well," said Paul, "I'm glad you appreciate the difficulties-" 

"there's no point in a lot of things, i've learned. doesn't mean we shouldn't try anyway. especially now." A bony hand reached out to Agent Li. "hey there. the name's sans."

Uncertain if this was even legal without prior clearance, Paul looked wary. Li looked even less certain, but finally stepped forward and reached out. 

"Hello, Sans. It's a pleasure to-" 

_pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt_

It was Paul's turn to suppress a laugh. 

"heh heh heh. you two have immature and juvenile senses of humour. i like that. as for..." he threw his arms wide to encompass the whole situation. "no idea how it'll pan out. i can tell you asgore's been our king for a long time. no real disruptions beyond the reach of our diplomatic ambitions suddenly extending. take my word for it. or don't, i'm not pushy."

"But then," said Paul, "how do we resolve..." he threw his own arms wide. 

"hell if i know. depends on that prior human-monster contact, don't it?" They nodded. "yeah, tori knew that would be the case. well whatever your bosses decide, i'd listen to the kid, personally."

"To... Frisk? But what can a child do?" 

"the barrier wasn't supposed to open. yet it did. dunno the whole story myself, but i figure that wouldn't happen without 'em. they've got somethin' special inside them. more than i do. and i'm not talking about an appendix. later."

Grabbing a third and fourth bottle of ketchup, Sans walked out of the hall again. Paul still had his notebook open at the joke. Li looked over his shoulder at it 

"You want to recommend we proceed with talks right away," she said. 

"...I do. And that's why I won't. Not yet. We still need the whole truth." 

"Good call." 

"But I'm confident that it'll work out for the best when we get the whole truth." 

"Even better call." She looked at the untidy bundle of documentation on the table. "If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck... Maybe the boss just needs to learn how to quack?" 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
